im nerding..was nerding..
currently..reading..
i feel as if everything is tearing mi world apart..
the wall that i have built around me is crumbling..
its falling and im left alone... unprotected from the outside world..
m i mentally strong? can i hold on?
can i pick miself up when i fall?
can i even bring miself to say that i have failed and have to try again?
can i face the future and forget the past?
i have failed once, can i now pass?
all these questions through mi head..
there is so much talent in spore. where m i?
will i b able to get past d ppl in RI...RGS..NYGH...CH? NEVER.
so mani ppl better than i...so mani ppl surrounding me..choking..
taking mi very last breath..
im competing against the world..against every living thing..
to pick miself up..and show the world..that i can do it...?
what m i talking about? what m i typing?
sounds and looks like senseless gibberish...
this is tearing mi world apart..
what if i fail mi math again? what if..i dont make it?
what if i dont improve in science...what will i do?
i have to do well im math and science..or so mi father told me..
if i dont, mi future would b bleak..dark..and horrid..
everything is math and science..
but i want to study the different languages..i want to see the world..
i want to understand and comprehend and make it to the top...
so if u ask me how can i study, i ask u why cant i?
how insecure i feel if i dont study..
how scared i will feel if i do it at the last minute..
how i can say that i have at least tried and not tried to do it at the last minute..
mi security blanket is gone..mi walls r breaking..
im going to be left defenceless soon...i think mi spirit is dying..
no one can help me..i can feel it..no one can save me...i just know it..
im left alone in this world..with no one close to me..
no one to relate to...no one to tell..
no one to share with...no one to laugh with..
no one to cry with...no one to play with..
i feel as if mi world is falling..
held by a thin line, vunerable as a spider's web...
bit by bit... piece by piece..breaking.. falling..crushing..
some times, i wonder how ppl look at me..
wat wld happen if i wasnt there..not much wld change..
just one less person in d world, one more dead..
no one wld care ...right?
as in...seriously.. no one wld..im sure of it...